The sea was black
by rebecca a f
Summary: Sorta OOC. About Ziva and the memories of her family.    The white dress she wore was soaked, and clung to the curves of her body. Her hair was a wild mess of wet curls sticking to her neck and face.
1. Chapter 1

The sea was black; black as her soul. It looked as if it went on forever. A never-ending blackness, filled with the secrets the ocean carried. The white waves cashed upon the sand, hitting her feet and adding to the chill her body currently held, both physically and emotionally. It was pouring out. The rain hit her like bullets ripping through her body, knocking her off balance. The only light was that of the lightning bolts. Illuminating the sky with each crack of liquid and ice particles colliding, building up large electrical fields, and causing a spark to occur like static electricity. The white dress she wore was soaked, and clung to the curves of her body. Her hair was a wild mess of wet curls sticking to her neck and face.

Silent tears streamed down her cheeks. Leaving trails of broken promises and shattered dreams among her red and puffy skin. She was broken. _Damaged goods._ She closed her eyes willing the pain to stop. For the heartache to disappear into the black sea. To sink to the deepest depths of the ocean. She wanted it all to stop.

She could hear the music playing a steady one, two, one, two beat. She could feel the stage light on her tanned skin like it was yesterday. One second she was standing on the beach the next she was on stage. A nine year old again, dancing her little heart out. Each graceful step practiced over and over again for the past five months. Her muscles have memorized the steps. She knows the steps so well she could perform them in her sleep. She is putting so much of herself into the little routine, her first solo. She is shining like she has never done before. The only thing she hears is his word in her head_, "I promise. I will be there. Sitting in the crowd watching you dance. I promise, my Ziva."_ She is focused on each step, each pirouette, each side leap, and each basic position. The music is coming to an end and she is almost done. With her finale step she lets out a sigh and waits for the audiences' response. She bows once, twice, thrice before standing up and searching the auditorium for his face. She knows he has to be here. He promised, did he not? She is searching and searching, but to no avail. He is not there. He is never there. Her father has more important things to attend to then her silly, little dance recitals. She walks off the stage. Looking up she sees her mother, sister, and brother. She runs over to them with her wall back up and her smile in place.

"Did you see me mama? Did you see me?" She says joy evident in her voice that her family was there, even if it was not all of them.

"Yes, Ziva! I saw, you were marvelous!" Her mother says with a laugh at the child's excitement.

"Ziba! Ziba!" shouts her younger sister, Tali.

"Yes Tali?" She says as she picks up the three year old.

"You ear mazin!"

"Yes you were," Her brother Ari says as he pats her head affectionately, "We should celebrate."

"How about we go get some ice cream?" Her mother suggests. All three children break out into to squeals of excitement and joy at this idea.

**At the ice cream shop**

"Ari?" Ziva asks shyly as she turns to face her brother.

"Yes."

"Do you know why papa was not there?"

"He was supposed to be there?" Ari asks as he sets his bowl of chocolate ice cream down.

"He promised that he would be there… to see me dance. He promised me." Ziva says as she puts a spoonful of strawberry ice cream in her mouth.

"He… he promised." Ari says anger evident in his voice.

"Yes he said-" She is cut off by Tali saying, "Ziba, Ziba! Look!"

"What Tali?"

"Spinkles!" the young girl shouts pointing at her ice cream.

"I have to go. I will see you all at home," Ari says as he gets up, throwing out the rest of his ice cream. He walks back over to Ziva and whispers in her ear, "You were great, Ziva. Don't ever forget that." then walks away.

"Where east Ari going?" Tali asks.

"I do not know, Tali." Ziva says as the two girls watch their brother storm off.

**A few hours later**

"What do you mean 'you forgot'?" Ari's voice bellows from behind closed doors.

"I mean that I forgot, Ari!" a strongly accented, deep voice bellows back.

"She was waiting for you."

"It was just one dance recital."

"It was important to her. Her first solo."

"There will be more."

"You promised!" Ari shouts.

"Promises are sometimes broken. She must learn-" a loud crash is heard. Then another

and another. The sounds of a fight are heard.

"Ahh!" Ari shouts out in pain.

The door flies open on the two men fighting.

"Stop it!" Ziva shouts.

"Ziva, go back to your room sweetie." Eli says as he holds Ari in a head lock.

She nods her head and turns to go. Back in her bed she hears more shouting, then a door being slammed. She wonders if she had done something wrong. Maybe she shouldn't have walked into her father's study. It was a room for men, not children. A few moments later and her bedroom door is opened and a figure walks in. The figure makes its way over to her bed, gently sits down on the edge, and brushes a stray hair out of the young girls face.

"Ziva?" The strongly accented, deep voice says.

"Yes papa?" She responds immediately.

"Ari tells me you were wonderful tonight."

She doesn't respond just stares at where she believes his face to be. The room is filled with silence as minutes tick by.

"He will be going away for a while. He is going to school. He will be living with his mother." Eli lets out a sigh, "Goodnight my Ziva." He kisses her forehead before getting up and leaving her room shutting the door behind him.

"Goodnight papa." She whispers into the dark.

The memory hits her like a cannon ball. Taking her breath away, she instinctively places her hand over her stomach. She is hunched over trying to catch her breath, fighting back the unshed tears. The world feels like it is spinning, she can't keep herself standing. Her knees buckle, she lands in the water. It is up to her rib cage, she wonders when she got so far out. She looks up at the sky as she lets out a blood-curling scream. The tears are now freely falling down her cheeks. She looks back at the sea just in time to see a wave coming. She takes a breath before it swallows her whole. She isn't far enough out for it to keep her under long, but it does succeed in pulling her out a little farther. She floats up to the surface, taking in another breath before being crushed by another wave, followed closely by another.

When she resurfaces this time she hears people screaming. She can't make out exactly what they are screaming, but she feels as if the voices are familiar. She tries to focus on what they are saying but the blackness is seeping in to her vision. She doesn't fight hard enough, and it soon takes over. She succumbs to the dark.

"Ziva." A voice says, "Ziva. Wake up Ziva."

"Mm, Tali, go back to bed."

"But Ziva it's noon." A sixteen year old Tali whines.

"Tali I just got back from a mission and I am tired. Please let me sleep."

"Fine!" Tali says, "I will go by myself to the market."

"Okay" She mumbles as she drifts off to sleep. She dreams of her first dance recital. The steady beat of the music. The yellow, silk costume she had worn. The pin her mother put in her hair for good luck. The steps she had memorized. The audiences' applause, it grows louder and louder. She is jolted awake by hands shaking her by the shoulders.

"Ziva! Ziva! Wake up! It's Tali!" Ari shouts.

"What?" She asks as she lazily rubs her sleepy eyes.

"There was a suicide bomber," He says dragging her out of bed and throwing clothes in her arms, "in the market. We have to go now!"

"A suicide bomber," She says almost like she is tasting the words, "in the market… Tali!" She drives, and it's a miracle that they are not smears of blood on the pavement. They arrive at the hospital and demand to see Tali. The nurse won't let them in to see her. They are shuffled to a waiting room. It's been hours, and a doctor has yet to be in to see them. The door to the waiting room opens; they stand up hoping that this time the doctor is here to see them. They are met with a sad looking man, quietly walking into the room. His head is down; they know the news is not good.

"Papa?" Ziva questions, still praying for a miracle she knows will not come.

He doesn't answer just shakes his head before nodding for them to follow him out of the room. They do like the obedient soldiers they are. Before the day is over Ari is gone, and she has received a new mission to complete. It's almost as if nothing had happened.

"Clear" A female voice shouts, even though it sounds more like a whisper.

She hears more people talking but she can't focus on it. She just focuses on breathing. Her eyes are closed but she can see people rushing around her. She hears beeping, and the buzzing of machines. She is crying again, she wonders when she got so weak. She opens hers but closes them just as fast. The bright fluorescent lights sting her eyes. She can taste salt, and wonders why.

"Ziva. Can you hear me." The female voice says as she shines a light in her eyes.

She nods her head yes, not trusting her voice.

"Do you know where you are?"

She believes she is in a hospital, but does not respond just waits to be told. And sure enough the female voice is talking again. She only catches a few words. Like hospital, ocean, storm, condition, water, and baby. The last word strikes a nerve. She knows it means something, but she can't figure it out. She feels her hand go to her stomach, and it all clicks. Going to the ocean, having flashbacks, the waves taking her under, and the voices she heard while floating in the water. She couldn't live with herself if something had happened to it.

"The baby is fine." The voice assures her, "You had a lot of people worried, and they were a nervous wreck when they got you here. Your husband is here, I will send him right in."

Tony, her husband. She tries to sit up, but hands push her down. She needs to be with him. She needs to tell him. She needs to see him. "Tony" She says desperation evident in her voice.

They are trying to get her to calm down and lie back down, when he walks into the room. She sees him and reaches out for him. "Tony." she cries as he grabs her hand. He pulls her into a hug. She buries her face in his shirt.

"Shh, Ziva, it's okay." He says as he strokes her hair, "You had us all really worried."

She doesn't respond, just buries her face deeper into his chest and bundles his shirt in her fists. The stroking of her hair calms her and his voice starts to lull her to sleep. As she drifts off to sleep she hears him whisper sweet nothings into her hair.

She lets her mind wander to where it pleases. Dreams of nothing and dreams of past memories. Before it landed on one memory, she would rather forget.

She feels the weight of the gun in her hands; the cold metal send chills down her body. She knows what she has to do, but she is still resistant. She doesn't want to do it unless there is no other way. She hears the two men talking. The one say that he wishes his father could see that he has not created a mole but a monster. She knows she has to do it. She pulls the trigger. The bullet hits it target, dead center of his forehead.

She slowly walks down the stairs the other man is putting away his rifle. The one her brother, Ari, had taken. The one he planned to kill this other man with. She stands there staring at his lifeless body. She is now the only child left. She has lost too much. She cries tears of loss for Tali and for Ari. She finally cries for the loss of her siblings. Even though she truly lost them both the same day Tali died. And she cries.

She escorts Ari's body home, to where his mother was from, because that is home for him. She attends his funeral even though their father does not. She places flowers on his grave and his mothers. He would have wanted to be buried next to his mother, so Ziva made sure he was.

She returns back home, and immediately is put on another mission. This time she has a new partner, Michael. She knows her father likes this man, and hopes for them to grow close. She just wants to get away from her father. The mission ends successfully, and she makes a phone call to a friends. And she is now away from her father like she wanted. She volunteered to join the agency, and she volunteered for the position she now holds and will for the next four years of her life before making it her permanent home.

She wakes up in a very uncomfortable bed, to white walls, and the buzzing and beeping of machines. She stares at the ceiling wondering how she ended up here, when she remembers all over again. She is hit with a wave of emotions so strong that if she were standing she would have been knocked down. Before she realizes it she is crying again. _"Pregnancy."_ she thinks, and puts a hand to her stomach.

She looks around the room and notices that Tony is not there. She wonders where he is when she hears him shouting outside the door to her hospital room.

"What?" he yells at the doctor, who seems to be surprised at his outburst.

She can't hear what the doctor is saying but by the facial expression Tony is currently making it cannot be good. She stares at them as the converse, she wants to get out of this bed and walk over to them. She wants to know what they are saying. She needs to tell Tony.

Tony looks at her from the other side of the door, the doctor is still talking. But she knows by his expression he stopped listening. His only focus is her right now. He opens the door and comes walking in. He walks right over to her and kisses her forehead. Taking deep breaths he looks her in the eye, "Are… are you pregnant?"

She is frozen. He wasn't supposed to find out like this he was supposed to find out from her. She was going to tell him. "Yes." She says in barely a whisper.

"Oh sweet cheeks." He says as he pulls her to his chest, not wanting to ever let go.

She is crying again, and he notices and wipes away the tears. He kisses her forehead, her nose, and her cheeks. She smiles at this, and he tells her, "I love you so much."

She is a crying mess after he says those words. She can't hold back the tears anymore. The dam has broken and the water is flooding the city. "I love you." She says, and takes his hand in hers and brings it to rest on her stomach. There is a small baby bump. He smiles when he feels it; "I'm going to be a daddy!" he brings their intertwined hands to his mouth and kisses her hand. He kneels down and presses his lips against her stomach, whispering words into her clothed stomach. She can't understand anything he is saying. But she can't stop smiling, knowing that he is just as excited as she is.

She finds herself extremely tired. She tries to keep her eyes open, but fails. Everything disappears into the blackness. She still feels Tony's lips moving on her stomach, right before she slips into a deep slumber.

She sees her father. He is lying in a bed. He looks peaceful. She sees Tali and Ari. They are sitting in chairs next to his bed. They are shaking their heads, and she knows he is gone too. She cries a littler, because he was her father. He taught her about baseball. He taught her how to survive, by blindfolding her and her siblings and leaving them in the middle of the forest and having them find their way out. Some may think it was cruel, but she knew he did it for them. He wanted them to be strong. He was he father. And she would always have a piece of her heart that belonged to him no matter how small that piece was.

When she woke up she found Tony lying on the small hospital bed next to her. He was awake and just watching her.

"Morning, the doctor said you can go home today."

"That's wonderful." She says with a content sigh as she cuddles up into Tony's side.

"Zi?" Tony says as he brushes a stray curl out of her face.

"Mmhm."

"Why did you go to the beach?"

"I needed to get away," She responds, "My father, Tony, my father died."

"I'm so sorry, Ziva." Tony says as he holds her closer to him.

"He passed away in his sleep two days before I went to the beach. I just wanted to get away from the pain. He was my father. And now he is gone. My whole family is gone." She says tears threatening to fall.

"Hey, your family isn't all gone. You still have the team. We may not be blood, but we're a family none the less." He kissed her forehead before continuing, "And you have me. You'll always have me. And him," he places his hand on her stomach, "you have him."

"I love you, Tony." She says as she kisses him passionately.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Okay so this chapter is from the teams point of view. It kind of answers some questions but not really. It makes more questions in my opinion. Well I hope you like it. R&R!

The rapid taping of Tim's fingers flying over his keyboard, as he tries to get a trace on her cell phone, is all that can be heard in the bullpen. Officer Malachi Ben-Gidon is standing at the window watching as the first signs of a storm appear in the D.C. area. It's bad; they all know its bad. Ziva has been off the radar for two hours now. They have yet to make any contact with her, and due to the storm coming in, McGee has been spending the past two hours trying to get a GPS fix on her but to no avail. They are an agent down since Gibbs sent Tony and Abby out to dinner about three hours ago. With direct orders for Tony to not come back into the office until he had his emotions under control. It was better than having him here, where he was only yelling, and this was before Ziva went off the radar.

A ding signaling the elevator made Malachi look up, hoping to see his people and Ziva, since they left an hour ago to search for her near the last known location she was at. But just as another beep sounded Gibbs walked off the elevator, a new coffee in hand.

"Boss! I got a trace on her cell!" McGee said as he jumped out of his seat, "She's at North Beach in Maryland, it's thirty four miles away."

"Let's go!" Gibbs shouted as he turned and re-entered the elevator, Malachi and McGee right behind him, pulling out his cell phone to call DiNozzo and tell him to get over to North Beach ASAP.

The hour drive was shortened to a half hour with Gibbs' hectic driving. Before the car had even came to a complete stop the three men were getting out. The headed towards the beach flashlights in hand as 1969 mustang came roaring into the parking lot. A worried Abby got out of the car and ran over to the three men followed closely by an even more worried Tony.

"What the hell happened?" Tony shouted at the same time, as Abby said, "Is she close by? Did you find her?"

"Long story short, her cover was blown and she went off the radar." Malachi said to Tony as McGee took a now crying Abby into his arms.

"Why didn't you drop Abby of at NCIS?" McGee questioned as he stroked the forensic scientists jet-black hair.

"Gibbs said to get here ASAP" Tony said as he looked at their fearless leader, who was down on the beach already searching for his missing agent. Tony took off running to join him followed by the other three.

Twenty minutes into searching, Malachi yelled, "Over here! I found something!"

The team ran over. It was Ziva's cell phone and heels, one of which was broken. As they shined their flashlights along the sand looking for any indication of what way Ziva had been heading, one of their lights came across a discolored patch of sand. Gibbs crouched down to get a better view of the substance, only to discover that it was blood. Not a lot of blood, but enough for them to know she was seriously injured. Right at that moment they hear Ziva screaming as if she was screaming bloody murder. They took off running towards it, frantically searching the beach for any sign of Ziva.

"Over there in the water!" Abby shouted as she pointed at a white figure floating in the water.

"Ziva!" Tony shouted as he took off running along with Gibbs. The water was cold and the current was strong. They were screaming here name trying to get her attention when I wave crashed down on her lithe body and took her under for what felt like forever. She resurfaced only to be taken under again. They finally reached her, "Ziva! Ziva1 Baby, wake up!" Tony whispered to her now unconscious body. Gibbs picked her up bridal style and carried her to the beach with Tony following practically up his ass.

Abby was crying at the sight of her best friend's now lifeless body. Gibbs set her down and started giving her mouth to mouth as Tony took her hand in his and started unconsciously rubbing it and whispering a chant of; I love you, don't leave me, I can't lose you, I'm sorry, and please wake up. Gibbs just focused on bring her back. The five pushes to her chest before pinching her nose, tilting her head back, and giving her the breath of life, hopefully.

"_One, two, three, four, five, breath." _Kept playing in his mind. Over and over again, like a chant of his very own. He thought of how he had taught Kelly CPR. The memory brought tears to his eye. He couldn't lose Ziva too. Not another daughter. He pushed down one more time before Ziva started spitting up water and coughing.

"Ziva!" Tony said as he squeezed her hand.

"An ambulance is on the way, Gibbs," McGee said as he put his phone away, "It will take twenty minute."

"Masculine child… Luca… Brasi" Ziva muttered to Tony as her eyes slid shut.

"What?" Tony said dumbfounded as Gibbs picked Ziva up again.

"They won't get here in time," Gibbs said handing the now unconscious Ziva over to Tony, "you and Abby get her to the hospital, McGee start bagging and tagging Ziva's cell phone, shoes, and the sand with the blood on it. Malachi call your guys tell them we found her."

Fifteen minutes later they were back in the car on their way to Calvert Memorial Hospital where Tony had called to let them know that Ziva was being rushed into surgery due to a gunshot wound to he left thigh. As they arrived at the hospital, a distraught Abby greeted them, falling into Gibbs' embrace, murmuring something about blood, lots of blood. A nurse came out and led them to Ziva's room, where nurses and doctors were rushing around a motionless Ziva. Tony was standing outside the door looking in as silent tears fell down his checks. Abby had completely broken down and it took both McGee and Malachi to calm her down enough to usher her to a waiting room.

Gibbs placed a hand on Tony's shoulder and squeezed. Telling him without speaking that it was going to be okay. A young doctor with blonde hair and green eyes yelled clear. She repeated the process over and over again; each time the men hoped for a little beep, beep sound signaling life. Each time it stayed a steady, long beep. The doctor yelled clear one last time. Ziva's body jolted off the bed towards the heavens then back down. Her eyes opened only to shut, the sound of beep, beep, beep ringed in the air as doctors and nurses started rushing about. Gibbs let out a sigh he hadn't know he was holding as the young doctor checked Ziva out.

"Tony!" Ziva cried out as she tried to get up. The doctors pushed her back down. Gibbs noticed Ziva's hand go to her stomach, before pushing the stunned Tony into the room.

"Tony." Ziva said again reaching out for him like a child would for his mother's hand at a crowded airport. Gibbs smiled at the sight of his two agents embraced, holding onto each other for dear life.

Gibbs turned and headed to the waiting room, to tell them that Ziva was awake, and Tony was with her. As he entered the room he saw McGee consoling Abby and Malachi making tea. The other mossad officers were seated and chatting in their native tongue, including one Liat Tuvia. Liat saw Gibbs enter the room and stood.

"How is she?" She asked and all other talking ceased.

"She is awake and Tony is with her." Gibbs said.

"Oh thank God!" Abby said as tears of relief and joy streamed down her already puffy, and red cheeks, as she hugged Gibbs.

"When can we see her" both Malachi and Abby asked.

"We will have to wait for the doctor on that one. Is Eli on his way?" Gibbs asks.

The moment those words leave his mouth the room falls deathly silent. All the mossad officers look to the ground besides Liat who is looking at Malachi and Malachi who is staring at Gibbs.

"Director David passed away last week." Malachi says.

"How?" Gibbs asked shock evident in his voice.

"Cancer." Liat answers continuing to stare at Malachi as she joins the two men on the other side of the room.

"He died in his sleep. The doctor said he went peacefully." Malachi continued.

"Does Ziva know?" Gibbs questioned.

"Yes, I told her of her fathers death." Malachi says, before Gibbs can reply, they hear Tony shouting out in the hallway.

"What?" Tony shouts at the young doctor, who looks shocked at his surprise.

They all run out into the hall to see what is going on, just as Ducky and Jimmy arrive.

"Ah, Gibbs, there you all are." The old medical examiner says right before Tony says in a loud voice, "She's pregnant."

Abby's eyes nearly fall out of her head. Malachi, Liat, and McGee look as if they are deer in a headlight. Gibbs just ushers everyone into the room, feeling sorry for the doctor, who is getting a mouthful of DiNozzo.

"She is pregnant." Malachi states. The room is filled with silence before Ducky speaks.

"Abby, dear, why don't you and McGee go back to NCIS and start working on the evidence."

"My team will accompany you." Malachi says signaling for his team to leave with them.

The mossad officers leave along with a still shocked Abby and McGee. Leaving Liat, Malachi, Gibbs, Ducky, and Jimmy in the room.

"I will… just go get some coffee. Does anybody want anything?" Jimmy says heading for the door.

"No, thank you, could you get the doctor too," says Ducky, "I would like to speak with her."

"Yes, doctor." Jimmy says, as he exist the room.

"What happened out there, Jethro?" Ducky ask looking at the silver haired fox.

"I don't know, Duck. One second everything was going fine. The next her cover was blown, and she was off the radar."

"Did you know she was pregnant?" Liat asks.

"No, and if I didn't she wouldn't of been on this assignment, no matter what!" Gibbs says a little to harshly.

"You can't blame yourself." Liat says as she stares at Gibbs.

"The doctor said she would be right in. I'm heading back to NCIS," Jimmy says as he enters the room and picks up his jacket and starts putting it on, "Abby needs my help."

"Okay, finish restocking the cabinets when you are done." Ducky says as Jimmy exits the room.

"Of course, doctor."

Shortly after Jimmy leaves a young, blonde, green-eyed woman in a white doctors coat enters the room. She has a chart, which she is looking over. She looks up and speaks, "Family of Ziva DiNozzo?"

They all stand, hoping for only good news.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Kowaziak." She says as she motions for them to sit.

"She is lucky. The bullet missed all major arteries. She will need to take it easy, of course, for a while. Due to the blood loss, the drowning, and having to revive her we would like to keep her for a few days."

"What about the baby?" Gibbs interrupted.

"The baby is fine. We did an ultrasound to check his heartbeat. There was nothing wrong." She replied with a small smile.

"Dr. Kowaziak," Ducky said as he walked over to where she was sitting, "I'm Doctor Mallard, and I understand that you would like to keep Ziva for a few nights but I would like to take her into my care. If that is alright with you?"

"Well, Mrs. DiNozzo is sleeping at the moment but I will discharge her tomorrow into your care as long as nothing happens during that time period."

"Okay, thank you." Ducky says, as she turns to go.

"Oh and Doctor Mallard she will need to be put on bed rest until the medication begins to work on her gunshot wound. Also I gave the bullet to an Agent McGee. So you don't have to worry about that." She says as she leaves the room.


End file.
